Busyness

“Our model is the Jesus… of the workshop, the roads, the crowds the clamorous demands and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace and privacy, the interruptions. For this… is the Divine operating under human conditions.” – C.S. Lewis

I am continually astonished at God’s work in my life. More times that I can count, I have seen God show up in ways big and small – and I know there are times when I haven’t seen God at work and yet He was there. How great it is to know that He was, is, and will be at work revealing Himself! Coming across this quote from C.S. Lewis when I did is yet more evidence of this comforting truth, and it was such a wonderful, needed reminder of my humanity.

Temptation

“It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present to us; it is the very sign of His presence.” – C.S. Lewis

I continue to be astounded at the ways that God chooses to reveal Himself, even from a quote taken from a letter written in 1942 by an atheist-turned-Christian-apologist and novelist. This quote from C.S. Lewis has been a favorite of mine in recent weeks for many reasons. As I am continually aware of my sinful, wicked, broken self in my desires to follow Christ with all that I am, I am even more aware of God’s presence. When my sin is overpowering me and my heart is heavy, it is then that God shows up and His presence is more evident than ever before. At times I feel I experience more growth from my recognition and confession of my own sin than from hours of Bible study, meditation, and sermons.

Timing

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

This verse opens the passage in Ecclesiastes some know as the ‘time for everything’ passage; an extensive list of back-and-forth examples of seemingly opposite events to illustrate that seasons and times come and go. I’m not going to detail them all here, though I encourage you to read them with careful thought in Ecclesiastes 3:2-8. It is a powerful passage that can provide much comfort, hope, and peace in the midst of affliction or suffering. It illustrates that through all things, God is in control as He orchestrates the seasons. The passage I do want to highlight and dig into a bit more from Ecclesiastes 3 concerns how God’s timing relates to our lives in a personal, individual way.

Worship

"God created us for this: to live our lives in a way that makes Him look more like the greatness and the beauty and the infinite worth that He really is. This is what it means to be created in the image of God." – John Piper

After working with kids for any amount of time, one quickly comes to the conclusion that children are curious creatures. This is easily evidenced by the fact that they ask questions. A lot of questions. Especially with younger children, the most questions asked are often “why” questions. Why does this happen? Why doesn’t that happen? Why do I have to eat my vegetables? Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to be nice? Why do I have to go to bed?

There is a common assumption that as children grow, they will ask fewer questions as their knowledge grows. But does their curiosity leave them? Think of it this way – you were once a curious child, and while you may no longer vocalize your questions, are you no longer curious? I think there is an illusion that with age and wisdom we loose our curiosity. Or perhaps somewhere along the way we start accepting things for the way they are for that reason alone and sadly stop seeking answers. However, it is healthy to continue to ask questions and challenge ourselves to find answers throughout our lives. Now of course we stop asking why we need to eat our vegetables (unless you really don’t understand that they add to a healthy diet and provide many important nutrients), but the answers to some questions are still mysteries to us. We are still just as curious as we were as children, just about different questions.

Baptism

At almost every Sunday morning church service I have been to recently, including this past Sunday when I was back at my home church, there has been a baptism during the service. At first I thought nothing of it, but around the fifth baptism I was able to witness, I realized God might be trying to say something (funny how obviously God has to show up before we get a clue sometimes, huh?). I realized that I needed to be reminded of the importance of baptism – both the significance of baptism in Christianity and in my own personal life.
Now I know there are books upon books by theologians and scholars with more Biblical knowledge than I will ever hope to gain who debate the arguments surrounding baptism – infant baptism, believer baptism, where they align and disagree. I don’t want to delve into the theology and specific doctrines followed by different church denominations surrounding baptism, but rather what the Bible, the ultimate authority over all, has to say on the issue.

Prayer

“Prayer does not equip us for greater work; prayer is the greater work.” – Oswald Chambers

During a recent Sunday night collegelife at North Park, we spent an extended amount of time in prayer. God yet again brought me to a place that has not always been comfortable for me or that came easily to me. Of all the spiritual disciplines, prayer is something that I have wrestled with more than any other in my Christian walk. As a child, I can remember knowing that praying was ‘talking to God’  - it meant being quiet, closing your eyes, folding your hands, bowing your head, and listening intently to the Pastor or whoever else was praying aloud. I understood on an elementary level what prayer was, but it was not real to me. My thoughts would wander, I would feel like I needed to have words but end up with none, and it seemed unreal and a bit bizarre to be talking to someone that I could not see or hear respond to me like another person. Even years later I remember having doubts that the God of the universe would really hear what I would have to say, or that what I had to say would make any difference.

Obedience

“Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.”   

 - Matthew 4:20

Sometimes I wonder at how closely I obey God’s call on my life. I know there have been times when God has clearly placed a calling on my heart that I obediently responded to, and from that amazing things were accomplished. But I know that for every time I did obey, there are millions of other times when that obedience did not happen. When I did not respond to God’s call, for this reason or that excuse. When I didn’t obey because I was not open to hearing that call in the first place. When I waited or delayed my response and did not obey immediately because of fears or doubts.

Ekklesia

Recently, I've had some interesting experiences revolving around the state of the church and it's role in today's society. A lot of this stuff is not new, and it's been running through my head for a while, but I feel like I need to share this because it has shown up so much in the last few days.

The very word "church" comes from the Greek word "ekklesia" which means "a called-out assembly." We are called out of our broken, sinful, wicked nature to be followers of Christ, and to become an assembly together in this world of sin and darkness. The church is comprised of those who are called by God to be His own holy people, those who belong to Him and are dedicated to Him, and whom God has set apart for Himself through the saving work of His Son and their faith relationship to Him - “To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours.” –1 Corinthians 1:2. Right away it is clear God is desiring us, the church, to be different than this sinful world, to choose to follow His will, to listen and respond to His call. As called-out followers of Christ, we are commissioned to first and foremost make disciples - "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." -Matthew 28:19-20. Scripture refers to the church as the body of Christ - "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body - Jews or Greeks, slaves or free - and all were made to drink of one Spirit." -1 Corinthians 12:12-13. As a part of the larger church, we are all uniquely called to our own roles - "Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues." -1 Corinthians 12:27-28.  While the church is something I am more than familiar with (I grew up in the church, and have never been without it as a part of my life), actually analyzing and trying to grasp the concept of the church as it was intended is so amazing. That God created us to be relational beings, and provided an environment for those who follow Him to have those relationships, to challenge one another to dig deeper into relationship with Him, each with our own place and purpose in the body, all with the calling of sharing His love and making disciples of those who do not yet know His love. Praise God for the church!

Service

"It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God. We get exhausted because we try to do God's work in our own way." 

-Oswald Chambers

So easily, we as humans become exhausted. We grow tired, weary, worn out. Exhaustion comes all the sooner when what we aim to do is for the glory of God. This is when Satan sees his opportunity to corrupt us, give us selfish motivations, and weigh us down so that we become fatigued before God does a great work through us. At camp, exhaustion is guaranteed. When something so powerful as changing lives for Jesus Christ is at stake, Satan is working overtime to exhaust those following God's call. Yet when we truly rely on God and let our work be His, infinite amounts of strength invigorate us, replenish us, and erase all exhaustion. We are no longer doing God's work "in our own way." While there were plenty of times I felt the tug of exhaustion this summer, God kept reminding me to rely on Him. It was His call for me to serve Him and return all glory back to Him. Nowhere could I find any self-centered principle in what my summer was to be about, according to what God placed on my heart.

I felt that this summer, God was calling me to something more than what I had done before. During the interview process, I was given the challenge to "put myself out there" this summer - and I had no idea what that meant! But as the time for me to arrive at camp drew near, I felt God was calling me to something more than what I had done before. I was praying that God would use me not only to minister to the campers and do well the job that I was called to, but to also be a resource for the staff and step up in places that may not have been in my job title. Above all, I was yearning to serve. Soon, I began making lists (planning, of course - what else to be expected from me!) of what I felt God was calling me to do in my service this summer.

God Loves You

If there is one truth that I desired to instill on the hearts of my campers at Covenant Harbor Bible Camp this summer, it is this:

God loves you, 

no matter what, 

and He always will! 

There are so many things that I have the opportunity to experience at camp - enjoying the beauty of God's creation on the grounds of CHBC, hanging out and building relationships with kids of all ages all the time, having fun singing silly songs and playing crazy big games, forming relationships with fellow staffers, being in a community of believers striving for God's purpose in our work together, being challenged by God and growing in my own relationship with Him. But beyond all those things that I love about camp, by far my favorite is the chance to share God's love - in any way I can to anyone I can. There are so many stories I have from the summer about times when God completely took me over and allowed my work to let someone else be filled with His love. I don't think I could ever go back and recount all those times - there are simply too many of them! However, I know that I need to share one of the highlights of the summer -  a highlight that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Something Beautiful

Hey now, this is my desire

Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want 

Something beautiful to touch me,
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees

I'm waiting for something beautiful

"Something Beautiful" by Needtobreathe might be the song that best describes my summer. I had the privilege of serving God as a camp counselor for the summer at Covenant Harbor Bible Camp in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I feel so blessed to say that this summer, I was a part of something beautiful.

Having worked at CHBC the previous summer (not to mention volunteering the summer before, and countless experiences as a camper before that), I had mixed feelings about what I thought the summer would be like. I knew and was excited for the people I had grown to love from the '09 staff to be returning with me, albeit not all in the same roles. I was anxious and excited to meet the individuals who God had called to work there for the first time, or whom I had not had the chance to work with yet. I was mentally, physically, and spiritually preparing for another summer of being with campers and all the questions, stresses, and lack of sleep that come with the position of counseling. I was excited to see how, though I was returning to the same position as the previous year, God was going to do new and great things through me and our staff as a whole. So (a few days early to work on maintenance 'cause I just couldn't wait to get to camp!), I arrived back at camp feeling like I was ready for the summer. As accurate as I may have thought that statement was at the time, I now see that I was in no way close to being ready for what God did. At all.

Yearning

As I am in a new city, a new school, meeting new people, and experiencing new things, I cannot help but reflect on my college experience so far. In many ways, it was an extension of my time in high school. I was still living at home, going to the same church, keeping the same routine, serving in the same places.

I feel that while I have been content and joyful in my service, I am yearning for more. I look back and see the many ways I have been involved in service: Covenant Harbor, Awana, mission trips to Mexico, various church boards, Sunday school substituting, and many other random things. I have been pouring myself into my home church and finding ways to serve that are familiar, comfortable, easy. I am pleased and proud of the service God allowed me to do. But even through this, something was missing.

Though I was giving what I thought was much to God, I was not open to receiving all that I should have. I poured out to others from what was mostly my own well, and allowed God to fill me back up with the regular Sunday sermon or worship session. But that filling would only fill me enough to pour back to others, and I was left with a passive engagement with my Father. I found myself going to class and work (where I would shy away instead of being bold in my faith), serving in what ways I could, but in reality becoming a zombie in a routine of stagnant life. Yet through it all, I was content. I felt no remorse or longing for anything different - I found comfort in the comfortable, familiarity in the familiar. I was letting myself stop at the shallow surface of a once-a-week in-depth sermon that would just fill me spiritually for my week, occasional quiet time with God when I felt like it, scarcely dusting off my Bible, and a lukewarm prayer life. I was busy, but on the inside I knew that was a lie. Hours doing more homework than truly necessary, on the computer, or in front of the TV were how I filled my time instead of putting myself out there to meet new people, make new friends, or spend time with God, which is what I really should have been doing.

Purpose

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."   - Proverbs 19:21

I am a planner. I like to know what I am doing, where I am doing it, and when it will be done. The result is that I somehow end up with three planners for this semester. I plan for the known, I plan for the unknown, and I plan for plans B-Z if plan A doesn't go according to plan. So, of course, making a plan for what I hope this blog to be is only natural, right?

As much as I would like to sit here and describe what I plan for this blog to be, I know the truth is that I honestly don't know what I am doing here! I 'plan' to use this space to share what God is doing in my life with those who are willing to hear it. I'll explain at another time all that I have learned from God in the past few months, but I do know that I want those (and future) explanations shared. There is so much that God has taught me about myself, about Himself, and about those around me that are screaming to be told. I'm not going to claim that they will all be interesting, or even that all that I put in this space is going to follow a certain formula or method. I am just trusting that all that I might have planned would be taken away and that God's purpose be all that remains.